You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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