You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
