I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
