I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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