Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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