I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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