i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
