Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize