Define "chronic" masturbator.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
