she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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