It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
