That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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