ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
