apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
