i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
