Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
