So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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