Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
