WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
