Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
