What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
