Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
