whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Randomize
