you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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