I feel like I'm in dance class right now
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
