Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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