So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
