You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
