yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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