I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so that wasnt chicken after all
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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