oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
