its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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