you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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