I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my shit smells like andre
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
