i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
