also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
