ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
