We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
