Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
