better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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