My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
nutella sex= disaster
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
