in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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