I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
