So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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