Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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