Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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