I just made out with a guy for $7.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
