I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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