Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
