just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
