Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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