you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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