If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
