wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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