i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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