does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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