I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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