its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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