you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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