Please, let me fuck your mom
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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