New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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