we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
