Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize