butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
