No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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