Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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