dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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