What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
