Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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