they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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