i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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